not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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