She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
