hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
