I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
