just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
