im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this boner is exhausting
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
