Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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