how can u be prego again
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
