I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
