i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
