four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
