Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
