I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
