Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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