My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
