So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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