YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
