the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
