i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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