im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I need moral support for this bender
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize