Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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