So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
