I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize