did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
