what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
