bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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