I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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