I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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