K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
His nipple licking is glorious
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