I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
