giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
