Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
