weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
