yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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