just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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