just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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