Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
