My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
how does that bad decision feel?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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