DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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