I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
