So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
my poor anus
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
