ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
