Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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