Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dignity is for republicans.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
