I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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