is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
handjob tips. give me some.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
