Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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