i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
