i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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