Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
