I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
