if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
