How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
