my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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