Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize