Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
