just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize