You smell like a Billy Joel song
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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