I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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