i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
