I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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