I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
