The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
