he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm like, not good at living.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
