i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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