So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
