well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
