I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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