Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My ass is underappreciated
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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