Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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