found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
