in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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