Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
