scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
