four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
