Your dad touched me again.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
